If You Ever Read "Juicy" on Anything I'm Wearing, Please Punch Me in the Stomach

The Book of Not Awesome by Liza Turner
1. People who don't tip waiters/waitresses at least 20%. This is a horrible job - try to be understanding
2. When your ears won't "pop"
3. Weather forecasters who cut into your favorite program because some measly little tornado is somewhere
4. People who ask questions in class or at work clearly just to hear themselves talk
5. Rhetoric and loaded language as a way to avoid an actual intelligent discussion
6. Black licorice
7. I welcome the wrath that this is going to bring: overrated bands like Led Zeppelin and The Rolling Stones
8. People who act like they like overrated bands because they think it seems cool
9. People who claim to like what 99% of people would consider "odd" for the sake of being different, not because they really enjoy it
10. The black spandex pant and tank top/X-Small t-shirt fad
11. Ugg boots
12. Hot pillows
13. Any shorts or pants that have words/phrases on the butt
14. People who don't pick up after themselves because "someone gets paid to do that"
15. When shirts fall off hangers
16. Beer
17. Blue or red Christmas lights (however, the big multi-colored, old-fashioned strands are perfectly awesome)
18. Glitter
19. Wearing shorts in the car and having to constantly look down at your legs and think about how much you don't like your legs
20. Pop-up ads on websites, particularly those that have people talking really loudly
21. A weedeater that won't dispense line when it's supposed to
22. Guys who yell obnoxious, stupid things at girls walking or jogging. Has this ever in the history of man led to anything remotely resembling a date?
23. Not being able to reach an actual person when you call customer service
24. Having a horrible view from a hotel room
25. People who talk on their phone in public restrooms or while waiting in line to pay. Usually these calls, which everyone else is forced to listen to, are extremely important.
26. Covers that get twisted or stuck underneath you
27. Pajama bottoms that ride up
28. Wind on those days that you've actually fixed your hair
29. Trying to write a beautiful and thoughtful note and then misspelling something and having to mark it out
30. Waking up and seeing that every county around you is having a snow day, but not yours
31. Getting home and realizing that you forgot to do or buy the one thing you left the house to do/get
32. Not being able to think of or spell a really simple word
33. Losing one earring
34. Blunt people who claim to be "just honest" when what they really are is jackasses
35. Seeing 8 year olds on cell phones
36. Cars that drive 42 until they get to a passing area...Suddenly they go 87.
37. People who don't say "please" and "thank you" and/or who don't open doors for others
38. Lucky charms - surprisingly, the one completely unhealthy cereal I do not like
39. Really big, unnecessary things hanging from a rear-view mirror
40. Rebel flags
41. Loud people - just in general
42. Saying something really dumb or inappropriate and not being able to explain yourself
43. Having only one earbud that works (Thanks, C:))
44. Driving anywhere in Lexington
45. People who can't say "I'm sorry"
46. Having sand stuck everywhere
47. Eating a bunch at a buffet, not because it's good, but because you can
48. Turning 30
49. People walking on a floor that you just cleaned
50. One side of your hair or your face looking better than the other (I have said for years that the right side of my hair and my right eyelashes always look better than the left; not good, but better)

Am really looking forward to hearing your additions...:)
And, by the way, I will be out of town June 11-17. Would anyone like to do the Pillow Book entries for Friday (11th), Monday (14th) or Wednesday (16th)?

One of You Better Include, "Receiving Notification of a New Pillowbook Entry" in Your List of 5

I love stuff like this...
Neil Pasricha is the author of 1000awesomethings.com and The Book of Awesome: Snow Days, Bakery Air, Finding Money in Your Pocket, and Other Simple, Brilliant Things. Both the website and the book honor the quirky, the fun, the simple acts that can inexplicably make our day (Really, who doesn't love getting a trucker to blow their horn or get pleasure from roasting the perfect marshmallow?). No introspective stuff today; instead, just a celebration of pillows, books, and sweet potato cornsticks.

A Few Reviews:
“1000 Awesome Things might be described as optimism for the rest of us. Sunny without being saccharine, it’s a countdown of life’s little joys that reads like a snappy Jerry Seinfeld monologue by way of Maria Von Trapp.” – The Vancouver Sun

“Strangely heartwarming… perfect for rainy days.” – The New Yorker

“Laugh-out-loud funny, tinged with just enough sarcastic nostalgia…” – Wired.com

“Honors the little joys of life.” – USA Today

“Consumer angst has turned western civilization into a morass of grumpy old men moaning about shoddy battery life of iPhones or the annoying omnipresence of accident claims adverts when you just want to watch a daytime quiz show. So sometimes, it’s nice to remind yourself of life’s sweeter side and the pleasures to be had from the small things — like peeling the thin plastic film off new electronic gadgets or sneaking your own cheap snacks into the cinemas. 1000 Awesome Things deserves its recent Webby Award; life really is awesome after all.” – The Guardian

A Sampling (But, I would love to hear your thoughts...come up with 5 and please share:)):
#940 Terrible businesses run by children
#939 Hot cream and a straight razor on your neck at the barber shop
#938 Sweatpants aka track pants aka jogging pants
#937 The smell of rain on a hot sidewalk
#936 Perfect parallel-parking on the first try
#935 Eating cookies like Cookie Monster
#934 Adrenaline
#933 The first scoop out of a jar of peanut butter
#932 Wearing sandals when you shouldn’t be wearing sandals
#931 Intergenerational dancing
#930 Finally getting a piece of popcorn that’s been stuck in your teeth all day out
#929 Your colon
#928 Eating foods you loved when you were a kid
#927 A really cold glass of water on a really hot day
#926 The Runaway Truck Ramp
#925 Watching ‘The Price Is Right’ when you’re at home sick
#924 Glass
#923 Doing anything that makes you feel like a caveman
#922 Getting a trucker to blow their horn
#921 Snow days
#920 Getting the eyelash out of your eye
#919 Hitting a bunch of green lights in a row
#918 When you’re really tired and about to fall asleep and someone throws a blanket on you
#917 The moment at a concert after the lights go out and before the band comes on stage
#916 The sound of scissors cutting construction paper
#915 When there’s leftover cake in the office kitchen
#914 Surprise two-ply
#913 Having a whole row by yourself on the plane
#912 Hanging your hand out the window of a car
#911 Getting served breakfast in bed
#910 When you arrive at your destination just as a great song ends on the radio
#909 Bakery air
#908 Peeling an orange in one shot
#907 When your favorite sports team is in the big nationally televised game
#906 Drinking a glass of cold water right after eating ice cream
#905 Using all the different shampoos and soaps in someone else’s shower
#904 When you manage to squeeze enough toothpaste out for one last brush
#903 Picking scabs
#902 Roasting the perfect marshmallow
#901Flipping through the entire bank of posters at the mall when you need to kill time
#900 Multitasking while brushing your teeth
#790 Seeing someone laugh in their sleep
#789 Putting potato chips on a sandwich
#788 The first squeeze from a new tube of toothpaste
#787 The extra time you get when the clocks roll back
#786 Getting recognized for doing something you love
#785 Falling asleep in the backseat of a car late at night on the drive home
#784 Celebrity baby names
#783 When you know all the buttons to speed through the automated telephone system
#782 Mixing cookie batter with your bare hands
#781 Guys who wear no shirts at cold sporting events
#780 Squeezing through a door as it’s shutting without touching it
#779 Getting into a bed with clean sheets after shaving your legs
#778 When someone unjams the photocopier for you
#777 Reading the nutritional label and eating it anyway
#776 When you’re watching one of your favorite movies and you realize you don’t remember how it ends
#775 When someone holds your keys and wallet in their purse
#774 Discovering those little tabs on the side of the aluminum foil box
#773 Watching your odometer click over a major milestone
#772 When you spilling something on your shirt and it doesn’t leave a stain
#771 Waking up before your alarm clock and realizing you’ve got lots of sleep time left
#770 Grabbing the cereal bowl with both hands and slurping up all the sugary milk

My awesome things for today: Having a wonderfully kind neighbor who likes to visit and who, yesterday, brought homegrown strawberries; making a recipe passed down from a friend's great-grandmother and being really pleased with the results; sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch at 6:30 in the morning-when it's still a little foggy and a little cool-and watching the neighborhood puppies play as you type a blog entry.
Thank you, Buddy. You are part of Marrowbone's "dazzling intensity."

Sweet Potato Corn Sticks (well, mine were actually muffins...didn't have a cast iron cornstick pan)
Makes: 12 muffins

3/4 c. mashed cooked sweet potatoes (I cooked mine at 410 for 80 minutes)
1/2 c. buttermilk (didn't have so I used Half and Half)
3 tbsp. melted butter (but cooled)
1 egg
1/2 c. cornmeal
1/2 c. all purpose flour
1/4 c. sugar
1 1/4 tbsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
(Recipe did not call for it, but I added a sprinkle of cinnamon, and a smaller sprinkle of both nutmeg and ground cloves)

Heat oven to 400. Grease corn stick/muffin pan. Mix together sweet potatoes, butter, milk, and egg. Add remaining ingredients and divide evenly in pan. Bake for 15-20 minutes.
Even if you don't like sweet potatoes, I encourage you to try this recipe. The potatoes make the muffins moist, but not overly sweet. I had mine with baked chicken and a tomato salad and it was delicious. They would, however, also be good with morning coffee ("black" if keeping with Burton tradition) and maybe even some homemade strawberry jam.:)
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LAHA - Just mixing things up a bit...plus, it kind of sounds like "voila"; I suspect this is going to get a 5 avocado yummy rating...looking forward to Lindsey's review and pictures:)

Every school year when May rolls around, teachers (at least the ones I share a room with) seem to fall out of a normal routine and go into “survival” mode. My co-workers and I often preface our conversational to-do’s with, “as soon as school is out.” For example, I have been out of groceries for a couple of weeks (hence the Kitchen Sink Pasta last week) and now that “school is out,” I am going to restock my freezer, refrigerator and pantry. In order to accomplish this to-do and as an out-of-school treat to myself, I plan on going to Trader Joes and Whole Foods (my equivalent to visiting Magic Kingdom and Epcot or eating a 5 avocado yummy scale meal-both very awesome). Will I buy some avocados- of course, “now that school is out,” I will be making all kinds of new, interesting avocado dishes.

I hope to make this dish before next week:
Avocado and Blueberry Fruit Salad with Avocado and Blueberry Fruit Salad Dressing
Makes 6 servings.

Ingredients
1 large, ripe fresh avocado, peeled, seeded, cut in slices
2 Cups fresh blueberries, rinsed, picked over, well-drained
2 Cups diced fresh apple (two medium apples; peeled, cored, seeded, diced)
2 Cups fresh mango chunks, diced
5 oz package mixed baby greens, or 8 cups mixed lettuces torn in bite-size
2 Tbsp chopped chives or green onion
2 Tbsp walnuts, toasted*, chopped coarsely
1 avocado and blueberry fruit salad dressing. (See below for the recipe for Avocado and Blueberry Fruit Salad Dressing)

Avocado and Blueberry Fruit Salad Dressing
2 Tbsp honey
¼ Cup plain nonfat yogurt
½ tsp ground cinnamon
¼ Cup fresh orange or grapefruit juice
1/8 tsp salt
1/8 tsp ground white pepper

Preparation
1. Place chopped avocado, blueberries, apple, and mango in medium bowl and toss with 4 Tbsp tangy dressing; set aside.
2. Toss salad greens in large bowl with remainder of tangy dressing, and distribute evenly on each of six salad plates.
3. Place an equal portion of dressed fruit/avocado mixture on top of each greens serving.
4. Sprinkle with chopped chives and toasted walnuts to serve.
*To toast walnuts, place nut pieces in dry skillet over medium-high heat and stir occasionally for about seven minutes, or until pieces are browned lightly. Remove from heat. Let nuts cool slightly before chopping and using to garnish salad.

Avocado and Blueberry Fruit Salad Dressing
In medium bowl, mix honey, yogurt, and cinnamon together until smooth and creamy. Whisk in juice; stir in salt and pepper. Taste and adjust seasoning.

Hey Sista, Go Sista, Soul Sista, Flow Sista

Just a couple of pictures from this weekend that I like. ***
Liza Turner, who died five years ago at age 102 [and with keen sensibilities and stellar physical condition in tact…], was born in south central Kentucky, and there she stayed. That’s not to say she never left. She went away to college, first to Danville, and then to Lexington. She lived for a time in Somerset. She visited Europe. She famously traveled the South taking pictures, embracing the sights and enticing smells of locally-owned, eclectic culinary establishments, and writing for the critically-acclaimed blog, Pillowbook. But, after her gallivanting lost its luster, she went home to be with her family, and it was there, in the house at 9127 Glasgow Road, that she did her work and lived her life.

When you’ve had the opportunity both to read her dissertation (which she finished at age 86) and to walk through her home, it becomes clear how the two are connected. She was a writer who believed there was plenty that was interesting about small-town life, and she tried to fill her Kentucky characters with passionate convictions and dazzling intensity. The dark-haired postmaster who smiled, quietly said “have a blessed day,” and continued vacuuming the rug resting below the “Welcome Friends” plaque; the singing Dollar Store employee who without explanation, non-verbally convinced her that she did in fact need the vegetable-embroidered potholders he was stocking; her neighbor who still checked on her every other day, bringing both watermelon and election analysis, even after Willie put a hole in the knee of his pants – all are recorded with Berryian sensibilities and Austenian desires. And although Turner may have been working from home, she was no Emily Dickinson. Her life was full of friends dropping by for conversation, the exchange of books and recipes and jams, and the occasional glass of red wine. One imagines the laughter was so loud, the most glamorous of the New York literati had to wonder whether the lush life wasn’t actually farther south.
***
Bet you’ve lost sleep waiting for my answers to the Welty-inspired questions...
1. “Daring” implies risk, a most elementary understanding that suggests writing is unequivocally an act thereof. Even if no one ever sees what so hesitatingly flows from mind to paper, the release of otherwise hidden intellectual and creative potential carries some chance of exposure, maybe even an unwelcomed battle with emotions or thoughts the artist wants to ignore. The writer becomes more accountable to herself. The person she genuinely, and maybe without explanation, wants to become and the things she loves or finds interesting are suddenly “more real” and a whole hell of a lot scarier than they seem in the world of her imagination. Therefore, while the more obvious fear of “I don’t know how others will respond” is inevitable, it seems an equally daunting act of daring is simply the self-reflection that writing necessitates.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I realize the unimportance of this silly little blog – with its collection of cereal poems, pastry recipes, and rooster commentary – in relation to noble physical feats and admirable, though heart-wrenching, choices, but my short answer is, “yes, writing is an act of daring.":)

2. I could go into some philosophical discussion about my life being interesting because I am choosing it, but you’ve heard all of my random nonsense on that before. So, here are a few non-philosophical reasons why I think I’m not a total bore at least part of the time:
- I try new recipes, ranging from gingerbread biscotti to Frutti Pebble treats.
- My backyard is slowly becoming a gathering place for a variety of neighborhood animals, all of which apparently like dog food.
- I will read Tolstoy on the same day that I watch a cowboy-centered, one-star rated, romantic comedy on Netflix.
- I will risk embarrassment and the blinding of others in order to save my adopted dog, Buster. …don’t ask.
- I try to do at least one thing every day that would be worth talking about on here. Granted, the bar for “Pillowbook-worthy” is admittedly low.:)
- I truly have some of the most thoughtful and articulate friends anyone could hope for. Speaking of which, check out Lindsey’s new blog, “Chez-Soi”: http://creatingourbghome.blogspot.com/. (The only thing that bothers me about her incredibly thoughtful and interesting blog is that I always want to sing Lady Marmalade, and be Lil' Kim, when reading)
- I see beauty in the often overlooked and seemingly mundane. I try to capture it with my digital camera that is the probably the technological equivalent of the bag phone that weighed down the console area of my high school-era Ford Ranger.
- I am genuinely happy when I have a really delicious meal, read a witty quote or article excerpt, have an unexpected, but interesting conversation, and/or hear a new song that I like. It doesn’t take much.

3. Ordinary, but inspiring; streamlined, but meaningful; the closest to “the person I would like to think I am” as I have been in a long time

4. The “dazzling intensity” that exists in my life is not of my own doing. Instead, I have the good fortune of having friends and family around me who share bits and pieces with me: Caroline’s mandolin lessons, Lindsey’s aesthetic eye, Melissa and Dan’s fearlessness, Leigh Ann’s devotion to motherhood, Andy’s ability to both build a chicken coop and enjoy Nietzsche, Mom’s white sunglasses that “look like her,” Dad laughing in the face of the chemo and choosing to go ahead and eat pintos and cornbread, cooked cabbage, sausage, and macaroni on Saturday night. They all make my life better.

It is here I want to live my life.

The Occasional Glass of Bourbon: Good for the Soul

Although I’m not a huge fan of fiction, I want to share with you an excerpt from an article Caroline’s well-read and thougtful mother, Linda Kraft, came across and shared with Caroline, and me, by extension. Read through for enjoyment first and then reread thinking about some of the questions raised. I hope that in so doing you find inspiration in Patchett's article (Caroline also recommends Truth & Beauty), in Welty’s vast collection of short stories and novels, and in your own life.

On Monday, I would like to provide my responses to these questions:
1. Is writing an act of daring?
2. What do find interesting about your own life (particularly those things that, to many, may seem mundane or uninspiring)?
3. How would you describe the mood of your home and your daily life?
4. “Dazzling intensity”…can you apply this to someone you know, something you have experienced, or an atmosphere you would like to create?

"Daring From Within: Why Eudora Welty stayed put"
By Ann Patchett | From Preservation | September/October 2006
"'A sheltered life can be a daring life as well,' Eudora Welty wrote at the close of her memoir, One Writer's Beginnings. "For all serious daring starts from within." We have too long thought of daring in terms of Ernest Hemingway taking his guns up to Kilimanjaro, or Dorothy Parker setting the pace at the Algonquin Hotel. It is a pleasure now to be able to consider daring as an art—an intellectual pursuit—that came to pass in a house in Mississippi.

Eudora Welty, who died five years ago at age 92, was born in the state capital ofJackson, and she stayed there. That's not to say she never left. She went away to college, first to Columbus, Miss., and then to Wisconsin. She lived for a time in New York City. She visited Europe. She famously traveled the South taking pictures and writing for the WPA during the Depression. But after her father died of leukemia in 1931, she went home to be with her mother, and it was there, in the house at 1119 Pinehurst St., that she did her work and lived her life.

When you've had the opportunity both to read her books and to walk through her home, it becomes clear how the two are connected. She was a writer who believed there was plenty that was interesting about small-town life, and she filled her Mississippi characters with passionate convictions and dazzling intensity. The woman who lived at the P.O. and the group that came to gossip in the beauty parlor, the visiting jazz impresario and the lowly traveling salesman—all are recorded with Homeric nobility. And although Welty may have been working from home, she was no Emily Dickinson. Her life was full of friends dropping by for conversation, the exchange of books, and the occasional glass of bourbon. One imagines the laughter was so loud, the most glamorous of the New York literati had to wonder whether the lush life wasn't actually somewhere farther south."
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LINDSEY AND HER AVOCADO - This makes me laugh every time I type it
This week, I went against my own advice and bought avocados that were already ripe. The bag from Sam’s Club has five avocados and all had ripened but one. I made it through the first two fine, but the last three were overripe with brown spots developing. Oh woe is me, what is Lindsey supposed to do without her perfectly ripe avocado? Not to worry, I am obsessed with several other food items, so yummy meals will go on. My recipe this week, Lindsey’s Kitchen Sink Pasta Salad, uses avocado as a garnish and has several other co-stars. My kitchen sink salad began last summer when at the last minute I remembered I needed a side dish for a church cookout. I hit the pantry, refrigerator and freezer to find anything that I thought would go together with pasta. My first salad consisted of mainly peas, cucumbers, cauliflower and fresh basil from the garden- in addition to a simple dressing. The salad was a huge hit at the cookout and a new classic was instantly born (okay, not really, but a few people did comment on how they liked it). Since the cookout, every invitation to a dinner, cookout or potluck was an excuse to experiment with new combinations for a salad. Some turned out better than others, but I always enjoyed the experience. Below, I have included my most recent recipe, a salad that can also serve as a main meal (carbs, protein, veggies and healthy fats included). Feel free to go wild in your pantry this week and experiment with your own combinations- trust me you will have fun!!

Kitchen Sink Pasta
(5-6 servings)
1½c whole wheat Rotelle Pasta
¼ small head of cabbage
1c frozen sweet corn
1c frozen peas
1 c garbanzo beans
½ c chopped fresh broccoli
1c cherry or cherup tomatoes, sliced
Enough EVOO to slightly coat your ingredients

Dressing
Juice of 4 small limes
Garlic minced, to taste
Agave sweetener, to taste
Fresh chopped basil, to taste
Sea salt, to taste

Serve with crumbled feta cheese and of course, AVOCADO

For a creamier salad:
Add Marzetti Slaw dressing, enough to coat your ingredients

Lindsey’s Kitchen Sink Pasta gets 4.5 out of 5 avocados on the avocado yummy scale!

***
Since I feel like I have sorely neglected the avocado, I will end with some important nutritional information from Body and Soul magazine.

Avocado is a health food. Really. In fact, it is one of the healthiest fruits on the planet. How could a creamy indulgence loaded with calories and fat qualify as nutritious? It's all about the type of fat.

Although it's true that an avocado packs a lot of calories and fat into a small package -- an average California variety has 289 calories and 24 grams of fat -- only 4 of those fat grams are saturated. Most are monounsaturated (17 grams), which lowers "bad" LDL cholesterol and raises "good" HDL levels. The remaining fat (3 grams) is polyunsaturated. According to a study from Ohio State University, the fat in avocados may aid your body's ability to absorb certain nutrients. One such nutrient is lycopene, which may help prevent heart disease and prostate cancer; others include beta-carotene and lutein, which may decrease the risk of certain cancers and eye diseases.

But there's more to avocado than its good-for-you fat. Per ounce, avocados contain more fiber than other fruit; a typical whole avocado has a whopping 14 grams, which even rivals the fiber in a serving of shredded wheat and bran cereals. They also provide more protein than most fruits, making them a great energy source (since you need carbs, fat, and protein for sustained energy).

Still not convinced? Compared to most fruits, avocados have higher concentrations of many B vitamins, as well as beta-carotene, magnesium, and vitamins E and K. These nutrients support and sustain your overall health, not to mention your energy, metabolic functioning, and strong bones. Avocados are loaded with potassium -- even more than bananas -- which research shows may help lower blood pressure when part of a healthy diet. They also serve as a great source of glutathione, a powerful antioxidant that fights unhealthy free radicals.

When you consider all the nutrients housed in a single avocado, the calories no longer loom so large -- especially if you give it a starring role on your plate, as you would a serving of meat or fish. So go ahead and indulge in avocado -- slice it on a salad, smash it and spread it on some bread, or try one of Lindsey’s famous recipes.

Delicious Ambiguity, Part II

I opened Friday's post with a Gilda Radner quote and suggested that a more in-depth discussion would frame Monday's entry. Obviously, I then followed that little nugget of intrigue with a review of the cheese and ground cumin available at Kountry Kitchen. Here's a refresher, however, for those of you who, for some reason, don't memorize everything I say: "Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity..."

I will acknowledge upfront my uncertainties about this quote; not necessarily on the meaning, but on my thoughts regarding it. I'm just not sure which part resonates with me the most, if and how the various components even really do. I want to discuss, therefore, based on my peculiar interest in "delicious ambiguity" as opposed to some well-thought out analysis of or emotional reaction to Radner's words. First and foremost, what a great phrase, pure and simple - vague, yet vivid; arguably indulgent, yet potentially quite practical. It avoids the trappings of both tongue-twister and annoying alliteration. It sounds intellectual, but also playfully spirited. It seems appropriately said with a wry smile and scrunched nose. It is a two-word phrase I wish I had coined.

My initial interest in the quote stemmed from uncertainties in my life that arose over the past month or so. Even though at times, and under seemingly difficult circumstances, I am able to retain a "roll with the punches" attitude, this past month has been particularly trying for me. There have been pity parties - shared only with the two people who I trust the most and more so than not, with myself - where I willingly imbibed "woe is me." There has been curtness and avoidance and silence. There have been restless nights and 4:00 am frosted flakes and facebook adventures. And while the sugary, artificial grain puffs may have been, "not knowing" seemed far from delicious.

There came a day, however, when I just basically forced myself to examine how selfish I was being. I couldn't predict what other people were going to do, or what a bank representative might tell me, or even where I would be living in a month, but I still had complete control over my responses and my choices. Maybe my options weren't ideal, maybe my choices were limited, but they were mine nonetheless. Just as in the past when I have had jobs that I really didn't like, I would tell myself "you can do anything for 6 months," in this case, I told myself "you can work with what you have." I was not concluding that something good would come of it (in fact it might suck. A lot. - I 100% do not believe that things necessarily happen for a reason), but instead, embracing the sense of peace that came from acknowledging uncertainty, an acceptance that subsequently forced me to create or reevaluate paths less traveled. At that moment, I slept.

What I was doing, and what I think many people are tempted to do, was equating not knowing with having no sense of control. Let's reserve that emotion for those who may never voice it, but who so much more deserve it: those who, for example, live with chemotherapy and surgeries and doctors appointments and those who so unselfishly and lovingly support them, not a 29-year-old educated woman who may have to find another job or place to live. I realize that pain and anger and frustration can't always be relative; if something bothers us, it is a legitimate concern. Nonetheless, there's much to be said for getting over ourselves, for seeing the deliciousness, rather than the pity party potential, in ambiguity.
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No ambiguousness here: Fried, sugar-coated dough can never be bad.
Doughnut Holes with Strawberry Jam
35 min (3 hrs. including dough rising); 8 Servings
Starter
3/4 tsp. active dry yeast
1/4 c. plus 1 tbsp. warm water
1/2 c. all-purpose flour
Dough
3/4 tsp. active dry yeast
2 tbsp. milk, warmed
1 tsp. salt
3 Large egg yolks
2 tbsp. unsalted butter, melted
3 tbsp. sugar
Jam
1 pint strawberries (12 ounces)
1 1/2 c. sugar, plus more more coating
Vegetable oil for frying

1. Make the starter: In a medium bowl, dissolve the yeast in the water. Mix in the flour. Cover with plastic and let rise in a warm place until doubled in bulk, 1 hour.
2. Make the dough: In a standing mixer (use dough hook if you have one), dissolve the yeast in the milk. Add the flour, salt, egg yolks, butter, sugar, and the starter mix until dough forms a ball. Scrape the dough into a bowl (greased with cooking spray or Crisco), cover and let rise (1 hour).
3. Meanwhile, make the jam. In a saucepan, simmer the strawberries (or any berry of choice) with 1 1/2 c. sugar over moderate heat until thickened, about 25 minutes. Scrape the jam into a bowl and let cool for 1 hour.
4. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. On a floured surface, roll out the dough 1/2" thick. Stamp out 1-inch round doughnut holes (in honor of this post, I used a shot glass:)). Reroll the scraps and repeat. Transfer to the baking sheet and cover with a damp cloth. Let stand for 15 minutes.
5. In a pan, heat 1" of oil to 325 degrees. Fry holes until golden (2 minutes - they cook quickly, be ready to turn them immediately). Drain and then roll in sugar. Serve hot, with jam.

*By the way, I had a great wrap for lunch today that you all should try: shaved pepper turkey (from the Marrowbone Marathon), spinach leaves from Mom's garden, homemade hummus from last week's post, colby-jack cheese, light miracle whip, sliced olives.

Walk A Few Feet...Maybe Tastee Freeze Will Fry Up Your Cheese

Gilda Radner once said "Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity..."

"Delicious ambiguity" might be the most intriguing two-word phrase ever uttered. I want to talk about it (well, the entire quote really) on Monday, but thought you all might want to toss it around this weekend.
***
I have a suggestion for those of you who live in or near Cumberland County: One weekday between 8 and 5 or on a Saturday between 8 and 4, stop in Kountry Kitchen Foods on Hwy 90 in Burkesville (across from Minit Mart, just before the stoplight; I love that I can say "the" stoplight and the directions remain perfectly effective).

I must admit, I am typically turned off, nay, disgusted, by, misspellings for the sake of grammatical or appearance alliteration. However, by the time I took my final picture and walked to the newly tired Elantra (advice: don't drive your car 30,000 miles without having the tires rotated and balanced) with deeply-hued strawberries, fresh mozzarella, ground cloves (which Houchens has been out of for about 3 months - no offense, Houchens, but it's the truth), a homemade fried apple pie, and real salt, I was singing a different tune....something reminiscent of the Blue Bell ice cream, "if you could take a rainbow," mix it with some ponies and butterflies, etc. jingle. That's how happy KKF made me.

In all seriousness, the owners (a local Minnonite family) are incredibly friendly and helpful (especially the absolutely adorable and personable 9- or 10-year-old young man who helped me check out), the fresh strawberries were fantastic, the wide variety of spices, wheats, granolas, and pastas was incredibly surprising, the meats and cheeses looked delicious, and the prices were very reasonable (in fact, much cheaper than I would have paid at Good Foods or Whole Foods in Lexington and probably equal to, if not cheaper than, local grocery stores). It's worth your time, trust me. I'll bet a red raspberry fried pie on it:)

Next Time She Asks If There Is Anything Liquid, Fragile, or Hazardous, I Think I'll Shyly Wink and Say "Maybe"

What a happy morning: sun is finally out, my adopted son, Buster/Murray (depending on who you ask), dreaming of a collar with LT's phone number engraved on the side, his vagabond in crime, Marrowbone Rooster (I'm currently accepting suggestions for names), just chillin' on my cilantro. This makes me laugh. As do the 684 commas in that sentence.

I have greater appreciation for Cumberland County with each passing day. But, this devotion is particularly amplified on those days that I have to make my way to Lexington for one reason or another; AND, especially on those purposely rare and invariably dreaded mornings that I have to patron a post office in Lexington. I've noticed that regardless if I have to speak with a post office worker about buying stamps or mailing a package or setting up a post office box, I will likely waste a good 30 minutes fidgeting in line, lost in thought of super important things like why the woman behind me insists on standing so close. It never fails that someone who has apparently never used the postal service before will be in front of me, that the frustratingly patient and laid-back post office worker will be completely unaffected by the 13 people waiting in line, that said customers in waiting will cuss under their breath or pilfer through available literature about not mailing bomb materials until they, like the other 12, finally settle for a sigh of submission. But then I get my magazines...:)

From the most recent Real Simple:
A) $2: THE AMOUNT IT TAKES TO SAVE TWO CHILDREN FROM MALARIA through MassiveGood, a global-initiative movement launched by former president Bill Clinton with the United Nationals Millennium Foundation. Head to travelocity.com/massivegood to donate directly. Or if you're booking a summer getaway, you can simply add the amount to your purchase. I checked this out and it seems completely legitimate. I understand the importance (and ultimately, the NECESSITY) of long-term sustainable solutions, but short-term relief is valuable as well. If you are a frequent travelocity user, keep this in mind.

B) HOW HEALTH-CARE REFORM AFFECTS YOU: Although some provisions of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act won't be enacted until 2014, such as a ban on charging women more than men for the same insurance policy, a number of crucial changes become law this year. Here's what you need to know.
*More services will be paid in full. Going forward, policies will be required to cover checkups, immunizations, and preventative tests, such as cancer screenings. You won't be charged co-pays or out-of-pocket costs, and the services are covered in full, regardless of any deductible you haven't met, says Kathleen Stoll, a spokesperson for Families USA, a nonprofit advocacy group.
*Lifetime limits are history. Insurers will be prohibited from capping what they pay out.
*Your children can remain on your policy until age 26. Previously, kids in some states were on their own at age 18.
*Kids with preexisting conditions cannot be denied coverage. However, it's not yet clear whether companies can charge higher premiums for children with poor health issues.
*Insurers have to spend more money on care. Starting in 2011, if they break the rules, the federal government can direct them to give you a rebate.

C) Life Lessons
* Hold hands while you hash it out.
* Pay attention to anyone who wears a tool belt. (watch carefully, ask questions, and do it yourself next time)
* ...or a uniform. (take time to "thank" waiters, sanitation workers, maids, etc.)
* You can never have enough "baggies."
* You can't go wrong with Clint. [Eastwood]
* Don't belittle the annual sack race. (Really be present during family time)
* For Pete's sake, stop worrying. Just fix it.
* Carry a hankie.
* No one's smarter than you. Don't be afraid to ask questions... "they" probably don't know either.
* You will want kids.
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From Food & Wine:
Grilled Glazed Salmon
20 minutes; 4 servings
1/4 c. plus 2 tbsp. Dijon mustard
1/4 c. prepared horseradish, drained
2 tbsp. honey
4 six-ounce skinless salmon fillets
Vegetable oil, for rubbing
Salt and freshly ground pepper

Light a grill. In small bowl, mix the mustard, horseradish and honey. Rub the salmon with oil and season with salt and pepper. Grill the salmon over moderate heat, skinned side down, until lightly browned (about 3 minutes). Turn and grill for 3 minutes longer, until the salmon is almost cooked through. Turn the salmon again and spread each fillet with 1 tbsp. of the horseradish glaze. Turn and grill until glazed, about 30 seconds. Serve the remaining on the the side.
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From Martha Stewart Living:
Herbed Flatbread (try with the dips below or with Lindsey's guacamole recipe!)
30 minutes; Yields 16
1 c. warm water
1 tsp. active dry yeast
3 c. all purpose flour
3 tbsp. olive oil, plus more for bowl
1 tsp. sugar
1 large egg, whisked with 1 tbsp. water, for egg wash
Sea salt
1/4 c. fresh rosemary or thyme (or a combination; probably not some a rooster has walked across)

Place water in medium bowl and sprinkle with yeast. Let stand about 5 minutes. Stir in flour, oil, 2 tsp. coarse salt, and the sugar. Stir until dough forms. Turn out dough onto lightly-floured surface; knead with floured hands about 2 minutes. Transfer to a lightly oiled bowl, and cover with plastic wrap. Let sit about 1 hour (double in size). Preheat oven to 350. Divide dough into 16 even pieces; cover with plastic wrap. Roll out 1 piece to roughly 4X10" on a floured surface and transfer to parchment-lined sheet. Brush with egg wash. Sprinkle with herbs and salt. Repeat with remaining dough. Bake until crisp (18-22 minutes). Let cool on a wire rack.

Smashed Chickpea, Basil, and Radish Dip
15 minutes; Serves 12
2 cans (15 ounces) chickpeas, drained and rinsed
2 tbsp. olive oil
Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper
1/2 c. fresh basil, coarsely chopped
8 radishes, chopped
1 small garlic clove, finely grated
1/4 c. fresh lemon juice

Lightly mash chickpeas, oil, 1 tsp. salt, and 3/4 tsp. pepper in a bowl until creamy but still chunky. Stir in basil, radishes, garlic, and lemon juice. Stir in reserved chickpea liquid, 1 tbsp. at a time, until dip holds together. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.
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From: The Kitchen of Caroline Dale Kraft
Avocado & Tropical Fruit Salsa
2 c. finely diced tropical fruit (mango, kiwi, pineapple, papaya, etc)
2 avocados, pitted, peeled, and cut into 1/4" dice
1/4 c. cilantro
1/4 finely chopped red onion
2 tbsp. lemon juice
Salt and pepper to taste

Gently toss in bowl.
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And back by popular demand...LINDSEY AND HER AVOCADO!!
Okay, students open up your Trapper Keepers and sharpen your free pencil from Ms. Macy –class is in session. I know some of you are an Avocado newbie, so below I have included the very basics of choosing and preparing an avocado. Jackie, I hope this information will help your first avocado experience to be a positive one.

Basic Avocado Rules (www.gardenguides.com)
How to know your avocado is ripe:
The best way to tell a ripe avocado is by feel. Just simply give it a gentle squeeze. An unripe avocado feels like a stone. A nearly ripe avocado will yield slightly under the pressure, like a ripe tomato. A truly ripe one is as soft as the padded palm of your hand. Avoid ones that feel loose in their skin--these are overripe. Store avocados at room temperature, once ripe you can store them in the refrigerator.
How to cut your avocado:
To cut an avocado, hold it in your hand and slice to the pit all the way around, lengthwise. Twist each half in opposite directions to separate them and use a spoon to scoop out the pit.

Lindsey’s Basic Guacamole
1-2 Avocados
1-2 limes
To taste:
Minced garlic or garlic powder
Tabasco sauce, Red Hot, or a salsa of your choice
Sea salt
Pepper
Cilantro

Cut your avocado in half and spoon into a bowl. Add your freshly squeezed lime juice (roll your lime on your countertop firmly before cutting; this makes it easier to juice). Add the juice of at least ½ lime per avocado. Slightly mash the avocado and juice together with a fork. Add the remaining ingredients; amounts will depend on your taste. Keep the chips handy and sample as you go!

Of course, since it is my guacamole I am biased to this recipe. Nonetheless,
Lindsey’s Basic Guacamole gets 5 out of 5 avocados on my avocado yummy scale. Congratulations Guacamole!!!![Back to Liza for a minute: This absolutely, 100%, cracks me up]

This week create your own guacamole, try a new “nontraditional” chip, pour yourself frosty beverage (my favorite-Reed’s Extra Ginger Brew) and party on!!!