Musings on life - music, photographs, food/recipes/diners/coffeeshops, and books/poems/articles I enjoy. If you like The Avett Brothers, black and white photos, local cafes, non-fiction, dogs, and the feeling you get when you return to your hometown, read and contribute.
Losing someone you love - whether by death, circumstance, or choice - is always harder than enduring any kind of physical pain. It's difficult to figure out how to just "be," when that part of your life that made the everyday so "normal" is gone. What I've learned over the past few months, though, is that despite the questions, regardless of the hurt, and overlooking the need for explanation that can likely never exist, there can be a sense of peace at any end. When you know that you, without a single doubt, loved completely everyday, you realize that it simply is what it is. There's no desire to let go, but there is an ability. The pain doesn't inspire second guessing or "what if"s; it reminds you that that person or that life was worth it. Love completely.
And, if that doesn't work, occupy yourself with things that make you laugh, stuff that interests you, or side projects that allow you to get in completely over your head. My weekend plans: constructing and painting a rain barrel, finish building my raised beds, buy starter plants for the garden, clean out window boxes and flower pots, drink coffee with lots of flavored coffeemate, drink lots of DDP, play "come over here and give me a hug" with Isabella, take Lucy and Willie hiking, hang new pictures, eat pancakes. And... Do a lot of front porch sitting, too. Maybe Brad Garner will call me and sing "Just a Swingin." - Oh, Leigh Ann, she had 'em wrapped around her finger even in Kindergarten. May watch a few of the DVDs we were going to sell at the Library. As you can see, my interests are varied. Vickie: "Do you really want the egg one?" Liza: "I love stuff like that."
Some of my favorite finds from Day One of "you are too old to still have 'high school boxes'."
The ceramic plate I made for our "Fear" integrated unit place setting. We picked historical figures who we would characterize as "fearless." I thought I was so clever with my Muhammad Ali plate. What? There's something wrong with having your junior and senior prom glasses - one that even still has the candle in it? Probably no more persuasive evidence of the necessity of art classes in school. As Ora Clay and I discussed in the Library a couple of weeks ago, there is absolutely nothing wrong with retelling stories of one's 5th place finish at the State Track Meet. One of the best decisions of my life; had I not attended the Governor's Scholars Program, I probably would've never gone to Centre (and subsequently, met Caroline Dale Kraft). *** And in one of the "Random" containers... Dad brought Leigh and me back belts from one of his Oklahoma trips. I don't pretend to be super religious, but this is one of my favorite things I found today. First page: "To Liza Marie from Mama and Daddy." I dismantled trophies today. I can honestly remember being at Monticello's gym for both tournaments and diving after balls, running into bleachers, probably taking a few cheap shots when I had the chance. I used to be a tiny bit competitive. Glad I got over that... In addition to bringing them down to the front yard during birthday parties, Dad would let us take our ponies, Pete and Cindy, to the fair. I'm pretty sure everybody's trophy read "1st." I'm shocked that when I emptied these two boxes, I found five random arms. I packed my cherished teddies and birthday dolls so carefully.
Suggestions for a bad day... Make your own flower arrangement. Eat 1/2 box of Golden Grahams in 2 days. Youtube some of your favorite commercials.
Put your sunroof down and find a song that makes you smile (I'm hoping the video shows up; if not, it's one of my car radio while "Rhythm of My Soul" plays).
An excerpt from Truth & Beauty by Ann Patchett (recommended to me several months ago by Caroline Dale Kraft)...
"One night, when we were in our early twenties and still living in Iowa, we went to the campus theater to see a showing of Cocteau's Orpheus. We sat with a group of poets, friends of Lucy's, and together we cheered the scenes in the Poet's Cafe where fistfights broke out over the scribbled drafts of a few new poems. I remember it as being a wonderful night. The movie thrilled us, and we walked home in the bitter cold talking about how brilliant Cocteau had been to make a movie in which the poets were the most important and revered people in society. Lucy said she was in love with Heurtebise, who played the part of Death's driver. She thought it showed a great sensibility on her part to fall for the sidekick, the number-two man, instead of wanting Orpheus for herself. I agreed with her completely about the appeal of Heurtebise, although the sight of Orpheus asleep in the sand, his cheek pressed against a mirror, was one that would stay with me for years.
'You should take Orpheus, then,' she said.
'But I loved Heurtebise, too,' I said, and it was true. I did. And I also didn't want Lucy to feel like she was settling. 'He had a greater soul than Orpheus.'
We were two young women talking about which of the dead French movie stars we would have rather gone on a date with. In short, we were very much alive." *** Caroline, this reminds me of us. You, being Lucy-esque, taking me to the types of places where people are familiar with Cocteau. Us, being the friends who walk home analyzing a movie (even if it is Stomp the Yard) in the Chicago cold, all the while debating which stars we would want to date or with whom we would be best friends.
Thank you for always being honest with me even in those moments when conciliatory "I agree with you"s would be easier; for improving your story-telling skills since college; for not sugarcoating the effects of an illness; for not wallowing in illness-related pity either; for inspiring me to pursue creative and interesting activities; for sharing too much wine with me and subsequently posting a Wikipedia entry on "pants" on various Facebook pages; for being the best dancer I know; for having the coolest parents imaginable (other than my own:)); for really "getting me." Your letters are the most eloquent. Your email and Facebook quips, the funniest. Your presence, the most welcomed. Your friendship, the most cherished.
Well, since it was going to cost me nearly $42 to get a case of Diet Sierra Mist Cranberry shipped to the house (apparently, this is only seasonal; for the past month or so, Andy has anxiously walked into gas stations, only to come out minutes later cussing the entire beverage industry), I decided to get Mr. Wiggins the next best thing for Valentine's Day...a video compilation of random, somewhat nontraditional love songs that remind me of him or of us.
But first...
Happy Valentine's Day to the man who... *will play 20 questions in the car with me even though my categories are typically far too vague and my answers, rather than being "yes" or "no," often include "kind of", "depends", or "sometimes."
*looks really, really cute in his grandfather's horn-rimmed glasses.
*might read a comic book, Nietzsche, and an ESPN magazine within a two-hour time block
*doesn't settle for uninspired.
*can drive a tractor and a Prius.
*I never worry will be awkward around, intimidated by, or uncomfortable with any group of people I choose to be around.
*makes me want to read more and think more.
*is one of few people who has weirder dreams than me. And the only one with whom I like to laugh about them in the morning.
*willingly, and quite enthusiastically, participates in Turner family stupid pictures.
*was my co-star in The Hunt, our AWARD WINNING horror short film.
*can have an in-depth discussion with me about what makes a pizza a good pizza.
*disregards his instincts and keeps the house clean because it makes me happy.
*accepts people for who they are, whether or not he would choose their decisions/lifestyle for himself...And reminds me to try to do the same.
*likes American Idol far more than he would ever admit.
*makes the best fried sweet potatoes I've ever eaten.
*has cycling jerseys and my dad's flannel shirts side-by-side in the closet.
*is, no joke, one of the most creative, quick-witted, and foolish people I have ever met. Just ask Evil Rat Bitch.
*would do anything to help my mom.
*encourages me to both believe in and stand up for myself.
*makes me laugh everyday.
*is more liberal than me. And who can articulate his political/economic/social positions so much more intelligently than me.
*as Garth Brooks says, "is so New York and then L.A.; And every town along the way; He's every place that I've never been."
That's right, when they say you're not my baby like Maury
You can tell 'em that they're telling a story.
This is how Andy finally got me, too.
The actual video is so much cooler, but I couldn't embed it. Oh well, I think he knows I still love him so.
Cause it's simple.
Some additional random picks for Valentine's Day... Swept Away by The Avett Brothers - Who cares about tomorrow; what more is tomorrow; but another day; when you swept me away
Magnolia Tree by Drew Halcomb & the Neighbors
The Luckiest by Ben Folds I don't get many things right the first time; In fact, I am told that a lot; Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls;
Brought me here
Strawberry Swing by Coldplay The sky could be blue, I don’t mind;
Without you it’s a waste of time
She's Every Woman by Garth Brooks He's anything but typical;
He's so unpredictable; Oh but even at his worst he ain't that bad I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie
Scenes from the Marrowbone Murder Mystery Party... Never trust a French winemaker. Do trust your sister when she says "I can do excessive makeup and a big, gross mole." Trust your Recipes from an Italian Summer cookbook as well. *** A couple of ideas... Add a little character to your Valentine's Day meal: consider heart-shaped polenta, french toast, ice cream sandwiches, jello, vegetables, or ravioli. Rather than buying an expensive wine rack, cut PVC pipe to size. I love this look. ________________________________________________________ Avocado Salad (Obviously this would be better with seasonal ingredients, but I enjoyed nonetheless) 2 avocados Juice of 1 lemon 2 mandarins or tangerines 1 romaine lettuce, separated into leaves 2 tomatoes, sliced 1 scallion, sliced 2 tbsp. chopped flat-leaf parsley (I used basil instead) 2 tbsp. Dijon mustard Generous 1/4 c. olive oil Salt and Pepper to taste
Peel, halve, and pit the avocados; cut into slices and sprinkle with lemon juice. Peel the mandarins and slice into rings.
Arrange the lettuce on serving platter. Make a layer of tomato slices and scallions. Cover with avocado slices and then top with mandarin slices. Sprinkle the herbs.
Whisk together the oil, mustard, salt and pepper (I did this the night before and whisked again just before serving). Pour over salad and serve.
Another resolution gets checked off...the Murder Mystery Dinner Party hits Marrowbone Saturday night. Two of my homemade wines will also be available. Yeah, I know, I wouldn't pick them either.
Menu for the evening: Appetizers Bruschetta with tomato and mozzarella Sundried Tomato and Cheese Focaccia Bread (I'm making from a mix) Roast Garlic and White Bean Dip (Menu in the Party Planner guide) Avocado Salad (From the Italian cookbook Andy bought for me; he's a fantastic shopper) Olives Dinner Homemade Pizza - Spinach, Mushroom, Pepperoni Lasagna (Mom is helping me out here) Parmesan Chicken Pasta
Desserts Cream Puffs and/or Cannolis Raspberry Semifreddo (From the Andy cookbook) Chocolate Hazelnut Coffee Sticks
*I'm Clair. I'm sending Andy to Goodwill tomorrow. Pictures forthcoming.
Do a lot of front porch sitting, too. Maybe Brad Garner will call me and sing "Just a Swingin." - Oh, Leigh Ann, she had 'em wrapped around her finger even in Kindergarten.
May watch a few of the DVDs we were going to sell at the Library. As you can see, my interests are varied. Vickie: "Do you really want the egg one?" Liza: "I love stuff like that."
